The Importance Of Peace

There comes a point when carrying something becomes heavier than facing it.

Maybe it's the conversation we have avoided... a decision we know we need to make... something someone said years ago... something we wish we had said back... a situation we keep replaying, hoping that if we think about it one more time, it will finally make sense.

We become very good at carrying things…

We put them on a shelf. We stay busy. We tell ourselves enough time has passed. We convince ourselves it isn't worth bringing up anymore.

And somehow, there it is again.

In the quiet.

In the middle of the night.

In the way our body tightens when a certain memory comes back.

In the conversations we continue having in our own heads long after the actual moment has passed.

Time can create distance, but distance and peace are not always the same thing!

Peace Sometimes Requires Participation…

There are things in life we eventually have to decide what to do with.

We can say something.

We can do something.

We can accept something.

Or we can let something go.

What becomes exhausting is living somewhere in between.

Waiting for an apology that may never come.

Replaying a decision we cannot change.

Holding resentment toward someone who may not even know we are carrying it.

Staying angry with ourselves for something we did when we knew less than we know now.

Peace may come from finally having the conversation.

Or from realizing the conversation is no longer necessary.

From changing something.

Or from accepting that nothing about the past is going to change - but we are allowed to stop carrying it into our future.

There is no single right way to find closure.

But there is something powerful about deciding that you want peace more than you want to keep revisiting the pain.

Your Body Carries the Unfinished Things Too…

We often think of stress as something happening in our minds.

But anyone who has carried something emotionally knows it can become physical too.

The neck tension that feels like you're carrying the weight of the world.

The clenched jaw.

Unexpected weight loss or weight gain.

The stomach that turns when something reminds you of a situation.

Restless sleep.

Racing thoughts when the rest of the world gets quiet.

Our bodies respond to what we experience, including the things we never quite resolve.

That doesn't mean every uncomfortable feeling needs to be fixed immediately. Some things take time. Some experiences deserve to be processed slowly.

But it is worth noticing what you have been carrying simply because you have gotten used to carrying it.

You may not realize how heavy something has become until you finally put it down.

Saying Something Can Be Peace…

There is a difference between speaking to create conflict and speaking because you no longer want to carry the conflict inside of you.

You don't always have to say something to change another person's mind.

You don't have to perfectly explain yourself.

You don't have to prove that your experience was valid.

Sometimes you simply say what needs to be said because it is true, because it matters to you, and because you are ready to stop rehearsing it privately.

What happens afterward is not entirely yours to control.

The response may be everything you hoped for.

It may disappoint you.

There may be no response at all.

But there can still be peace in knowing you finally honored what had been asking for your attention.

Letting Go Can Be Peace Too…

Not everything deserves another conversation.

There are situations where protecting your peace means deciding you are finished trying to understand something that may never make complete sense.

Letting go does not mean pretending something didn't hurt.

It doesn't mean agreeing with what happened.

It doesn't require forgiveness on anyone else's timeline.

Sometimes letting go simply means:

I am no longer giving this the same amount of space inside of me.

You can acknowledge what happened and still move forward.

You can remember something without continuing to live inside of it.

You can love people and release them.

You can forgive yourself for versions of you that were doing the best they knew how to do.

You can change your mind.

You can close doors without slamming them.

You can decide that understanding every detail is no longer a requirement for moving forward.

Choose Peace…

Life will continuously give us things we cannot control.

People will misunderstand us.

Plans will change.

Relationships will evolve.

We will make mistakes.

Other people will make mistakes too.

There will be endings we didn't choose and answers we never receive.

Peace isn't creating a life where none of those things happen.

Peace is learning that not everything deserves permanent residence within you.

Sometimes you need to speak.

Sometimes you need to apologize.

Sometimes you need to forgive.

Sometimes you need to walk away.

Sometimes you need to stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to move forward.

And sometimes you simply need to decide that you have carried something long enough.

You are allowed to want a quieter mind.

You are allowed to make room for what is happening now instead of continuously returning to what already happened.

You are allowed to choose peace.

Not because everything has been perfectly resolved.

But because your life is still happening.

And there is so much of it left to live.

To Your Wellness ~ Summer